Not My Monkey

I have struggled recently with someone close to me. I feel misjudged by him and am not sure how to approach it. He's quite the unapproachable person. I talked with my uncle Clark about it. He's been through the same things I'm going through. He told me, "Jenn, just look at him and say, It's not my monkey." When something is hanging on us, what animal would we say it is? A monkey. Monkeys tend to hang on us. So do a lot of things. In this case, what I'm going through in my life is something that this person doesn't support or agree with and so it bothers him. It became a monkey to him. However, it bothers him, not me. It's his monkey, not mine. And when he takes it out on me it's because he sees me as the cause of it, he tries to give me his monkey. But bottom line, it's not my monkey.

Chivalry Lives!

I was making a delivery for my dad yesterday at Furniture Enterprises in Anchorage. It was only one box. I was perfectly capable of getting the door. As I walked up to the door in the back of the building, a man who was there to pick something up, went out of his way to open the door for me. I smiled real big a thanked him. I love being treated with respect and it doesn't make me feel weird at all. After I thanked him he said one thing to me, "Chivalry Lives!" That was it. "Chivalry Lives!" I don't know who that guy was, he was a little older, but I thought, "Wow, that's awesome. We need more people like that." Chivalry really does live, we just need to prove it. I walked lighter for the rest of the day and felt like a million bucks, all because someone did something as simple as open my door. Guys, "Chivalry Lives!" Use it!
P.S. In all fairness...Ned, you're awesome!

Elect of Elohim

"Father!" the voice like music fell,

Clear as the murmuring flow

Of mountain streamlet trickling down

From heights of virgin snow.

"Father," it said, "since One must die,

Thy children to redeem

From worlds all formless now and void,

Where myriad life shall teem;

"And mighty Michael foremost fall

That mortal man may be;

And chosen Savior yet must send,

Lo, here am I-- send me!

I ask, I seek no recompense,

Save that which then were mine;

Mine be the willing sacrifice,

The endless glory Thine!"

"Jenn Saunders, changing the world one Valentine card at a time."

I love Valentines Day. What a wonderful day. I spent a lot of time on the phone this Valentines Day wishing many loved ones happiness and love. One friend in particular is such a fantastic person. I was sharing with him my views of Valentines Day, long story short, I think I've converted him. As he laughed at me, he said, "Jenn Saunders, changing the world one Valentine card at a time." You know it. If it will make a difference, I'm there and you can count on it.

A Reason For Everything

I was supposed to go to Anchorage tonight. (an hour away) However, plans fell through and so my evening became free. I ended up going to the store, a little bummed about the evening. As I was walking through the isles of groceries, I found myself following a guy and girl holding hands. As I watched them from the back I had the feeling that I knew the guy. I couldn't see his face, and he didn't even look familiar from behind, yet I found myself thinking about Justin.
Justin is my cousin. He and his sister were adopted by my uncle when he married their mother. They were divorced shortly there after. His mom took him and his sister and moved out of state. They returned when I was in high school and Justin and I became close. He, due to parental example, struggles with substances and has for years. But I love him just the same. He is so good at heart. I lost contact with him some years ago. Several months ago, my home teacher (a bale bondsman) noticed Justin had been arrested. When he notified me, I asked him to try and get Justin's info so that I could contact him. It was too late though, Justin had already been released. I found myself kind of hoping that he would get arrested again so that my home teacher would be able to intercept. Well, I guess it's good that he hasn't been arrested again.
So back to my story. I felt as though this man walking in front of me might be Justin, yet he didn't look like him. I found myself following the couple around the store, waiting for him to turn so that I could get a look at his face. It took a while, but he finally turned and looked my direction. As his eyes met mine, he looked at me like, "Wait a second, it's you!". I returned with a big smile and with a sigh of relief I said, "Justin". I bounced up to him giving him a big hug. I love him. He struggles, but who doesn't have their struggles. God has a reason for everything. If I had gone to Anchorage like I originally planned, I would not have bumped into Justin. I'm so grateful for how aware of me the Lord is. He's aware of all of us and there truly is a reason for every little thing that happens.

My Superpower

I was asked recently, "If you could have one superpower, what would it be?" I've never been a fan of this question mainly because I was never satisfied with your typical superpowers. Well, this time when I was asked, something immediately came to my mind. I would lift the veil. Not to have a perfect knowledge of the truth, I don't doubt the gospel. I would lift the veil so that I could see people. People are my life, my loved ones sustain me. I would want to visit those who have passed on. But that's not the end of my superpower story. Throughout the week I thought about my answer. I've changed my mind. I wouldn't choose to lift the veil, I would choose to remove the natural man from me. I think of my Savior bleeding and suffering for all of our sins and knowing that I contributed and still contribute breaks my heart. I know that it needed to happen, but if I could stop adding to the pains, I definitely would. So...be gone with you Natural Man!

It's A Small World After All

I struggled Sunday with the desire to attend my church meetings. I forced myself to go. I was so angry by the end of church, I just loaded my kids in the car and cried. The adversary was really working hard on me. There was a CES fireside that night in Anchorage. (an hour away) I wasn't going to go because it's so hard on my kids, Sunday is already a long day for them. My parents felt I needed to go though, so they took my kids home and I rode in with Bishop and his wife to the fireside. Boy am I glad I went. The fireside was awesome, Elder Bednar's talk was fantastic. But even more fantastic, I made the goal to meet someone new. Holy cow did I meet someone new. His name is Ned. He looked familiar to me but I knew I didn't know him. He just looked like someone but I wasn't quite sure who. I asked his last name. Long story short, he's the younger brother of a man who served his mission here in Alaska when I was like, a freshman in high school. His brother had returned to Alaska to visit some years ago and stayed at my house. My family was particularly close with him as a missionary. So, Ned is his 26 year old brother, is living up here while serving in the Air Force. I couldn't believe it. Small world huh? We had so much fun talking. That was just what I needed.

The House Of The Lord

I woke up today, got ready for work, then someone called. They asked me if I wanted to go to the temple with them. Of course I wanted to, so I ditched work and went with him to the temple. What a neat experience. I love the temple, I love the feeling when I'm inside. I always stop and look at the baptismal font and ponder the importance of baptism. It all starts with baptism. I read a quote today that I liked. "What would you do if you knew that you couldn't fail?" Think about it.

The life of my party!

I received a phone call today. Wow! The life of my party was on the other side. She means so much to me. I loved speaking with her. I'm on an absolute high now, I'm good for another 44 days. (She'll be returning home in 44 days) I can't wait. When she gets here, I'm going to fall into her arms, shed a tear or two (for joy) and then jump up and down screaming. She'll be doing the same I'm sure. There is no doubt in my mind that she and I are kindred spirits. We have known each other since the beginning of time and have always been connected with bonds of friendship that hold more power than the earth's core. Heavens to Betsy girl, return to me!

Unnecessary Drama

"Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; see that ye refrain from idleness."
I'm frustrated with someone, to the point that I have thought out many times what I would like to say to this person. However, what's on my mind isn't 100% positive. I've felt this way for a few days. I was sitting in institute tonight, I flopped open my scriptures and found myself reading this verse. I thought of how I would like to settle things with this person and reconsidered my game plan. I felt like the Lord was telling me to be bold, but not overbearing. I need to control myself so that I can feel love for this person. And as much as I would like to do nothing about it and hope that it just goes away, I can't because it won't. "...refrain from idleness." But now I have no idea how to confront the situation. Single life brings so much drama! I don't need it. UGH! I want to quit.